time has a meaning for everyone.
I get the question “what does your tattoo mean?” quite a lot. My favorite part about answering this is that my response changes every time. The meaning of time is so versatile, and to me, that’s what makes it beautiful.
I’ve always struggled with letting go. Letting go of my fears, letting go of the past, letting go of negative thoughts. My overarching desire for perfection prevented me from moving past mistakes or failures and resulted in me spending a lot of time inside of my head.
My inability to let go was often coupled with a yearning for control. I wanted everything to be consistent. Consistency and having a plan was comfortable. There was consolation in knowing what was coming in the future, in knowing how things would turn out, or in knowing even how my relationships would work out. But when bumps in the road happened, I felt anxious and unable to let go (there it is again) of the fact that life wasn’t going smoothly.
As you can probably guess, when the pandemic started and almost everyday was unprecedented, I was a mess- internally and externally. Life literally shifted overnight. All of us were forced to adapt to a new way of learning, communicating, working, and living. Pretty crazy how humans can modify their lives with zero given notice, right?
I tried a lot of different ways to cope with the madness and despair of the world we were living in. My typical “go-to”s like yoga, going for long walks, talking to friends on the phone, and meditation helped. But all of these solutions felt surface level, like there was something much deeper helping me get through this time, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. Then finally, about 6 or 7 months ago, I realized I lived from March of 2020 until now with pretty much zero plan. I let go, mainly because I had no choice. It was time getting me through this period. Knowing I had no option but to simply let time pass, be patient, and allow for things to heal naturally.
Time has truly always had my back. Thinking about some of my lowest moments, where all I wanted to do was fast forward and speed up time, I am grateful I waited it out. It’s those periods of time where you’re uncomfortable that you grow. And I know, sometimes it can be the most frustrating thing to hear “just give it time” or “time will tell”. But it’s true. Time is such a gift. We have the power to use it to our advantage, to practice gratitude, to learn from our mistakes, to grow into the people we want to become. Time is the light at the end of the tunnel when everything feels dark.
So when the opportunity came about to get another tattoo, I knew exactly what I would get. The word time is now on my wrist as a reminder that time really does heal all. Time is a luxury. Time will tell. Time is a storyteller. Time shows us what really matters.
Until now, I lived everyday expecting a “given notice” until I realized that a “given notice” is a privilege. Practice being present, practice being patient, and most of all, practice having faith in the magic of time.