We all know the tragic love story of humans and social media. No one can get off of it. We hate to love it. We love to hate it. We scroll, scroll, scroll. We know how it can be really bad, and we know how it can be really good. We're stuck. What do we do?
As someone who uses social media all the time, for personal and business purposes, I'd like to share the mindset that I have come to adopt. This mindset came to me after my yoga practice set in, after I experienced many emotions about social media, and tried many approaches to sharing and scrolling. I feel happy with my current approach and hope that you get something out of it as well!
Community
For me, community and connection is the purpose of social media. It is important to set aside specific time in my day to engage with the people in my life. "The people in my life"include all sorts: best friends, co-workers, fellow yogis, neighbors, etc.
The most important thing is supporting them. Alot of times, people feel alone. And we have this incredible tool that makes people feel less so. I often ask myself, how can I show them that someone is cheering them on?
Time
Days are busy, and it's hard to find time for anything. Typically people find themselves sneaking in mindless scrolling. But do we need social media or do we need a break? Before I log on, I try to ask myself that question. If I need a break, I take one. A break is getting outside, petting a dog or a cat, laying down, closing my eyes, etc. When we do this we are practicing Pratyahara (The 5th Limb of the 8 Limbs of Yoga) - withdrawing from external senses so we can experience what is happening internally.
If I don't need a break, I ask myself - Why am I logging in right now? Do I want to connect? Do I want to share something? Do I need to add something to the business Instagram? This way I know where I'm going and why. Once I feel I've achieved that goal, I log off. In this way, I am conserving my energy for what's really important (Brahmacharya - one of the Yamas, in the 1st Limb of Yoga).
Sharing
There was a time when I felt all alone. I plastered a smile on my face, all the while being miserable inside. I never shared anything with anyone. No one would get it, what's the point? And social media?! Forget it! It's all fake. No one gets me; no one gets each other.
This line of thinking was very isolating. It led to a long bout of anxiety and depression (to which I often refer). Don't worry, my answer isn't - I started sharing everything on social media and I was healed!!! Quite the contrary, I did ALOT of inner work. I confronted alot of negative thought patterns; I spoke with a professional. I dug myself out of a hole so deep, and I did it with my bare hands. I will forever be in awe of myself for the work I did.
One of the biggest pieces was to allow myself and others to be human. To understand the yogi principle that "we are all one." This work led me to the desire to share my story. I made a commitment to share the truth of my life as much as I felt comfortable, in a way that may be helpful to others (Satya - one of the Yamas, in the 1st Limb of Yoga). Sharing also allows me to engage with an important value in my life, creativity. I love getting creative with the different ways we can communicate on social media. Engaging in my creativity with fire and passion (Tapas - one of the Niyamas, in the 2nd Limb of Yoga) brings me joy.
Lastly, sharing about myself helps people understand me better. I feel more comfortable telling my story in written expression, and in the creative manner that social media allows for, than by my voice. As an empath (someone who deeply feels their feelings & feelings of others), there is alot that I go through that is very difficult for others to comprehend. Social media is one way that I can express my feelings in the way that I feel comfortable.
Self-Centeredness
When we're sharing about ourselves, there's always a risk that something will come across as self-centered. To avoid this, I like to ask myself WHY I'm posting something. Is the answer sometimes that I like my hair in the picture? Yes, absolutely. I allow myself those human moments:) Overall, I am conscious of not stealing too much space for these types of needs. I try my best to elevate other voices and highlight other people's work and experience (Asteya - one of the Yamas, in the 1st Limb of Yoga). Still, I believe that sharing my successes, my cute nephews & niece, my vacation, etc. is important! I'm not sharing to brag, I'm sharing to show people - this is my life. Do we have anything in common? Where can we find our oneness?
When I post something, I keep in mind other people's feelings. I don't think of every single person that might be affected, but I take a few moments to consider how others might feel. If there's something I can change up a little bit, I do. Do I mess up sometimes? Absolutely. Humans do that:)
Negativity
We know all about it, and it feels like it's getting worse all the time.
When we see something posted that makes us mad, we might have the desire to write something negative or passive-aggressive in response.
I'm going to keep this one simple with a few short statements:
Only do what you think is worth your time and energy (Brahmacharya - one of the Yamas, in the 1st Limb of Yoga).
Be careful of the words you use when speaking to others. Our words hurt others, and also ourselves (Ahimsa - one of the Yamas, in the 1st Limb of Yoga).
Stand up for yourself and others - don't let people get away with excessive meanness. One of my biggest pet-peeves is when people think someone is nice/weak so they push people around. Being nice does not mean being weak, and I will stand up for that when I need to.
Comparison
In her song jealously, jealously, Olivia Rodrigo sings:
"I kinda wanna throw my phone across the room 'Cause all I see are girls too good to be true With paper-white teeth and perfect bodies Wish I didn't care
I know that beauty is not my lack But it feels like that weight is on my back And I can't let it go
Co-comparison is killin' me slowly"
We all have triggers when it comes to posts on social media. The important part is knowing our triggers, and knowing WHY we feel that way.
Here is one of mine: Halloween. What could I have against Halloween?? Well, it feels like an adorable, fun family moment that I may not get to experience for myself. There are a multitude of reasons for triggers, and sometimes they're not so easy to figure out.
Here's how I handle my triggers :
I check in with myself prior to that time of year. I remind myself, for example, that Halloween is hard for me. I make sure I'm in the right head space before logging in. I try to remind myself of my "community and connection" social media perspective. If I feel good, I'll log in. If I don't, I'll save it for another day. Usually once I log in and start commenting on the cute outfits, I feel better about everything. I will refer to this as a mindset cleansing (Saucha - one of the Niyamas, in the 2nd Limb of Yoga).
I have faith in the way my path has unfolded for me (Ishvara Pranidhana - one of the Niyamas, in the 2nd Limb of Yoga). For me, this means there is a *purposeful, divine* reason I do not have children at this moment. Putting my trust in this makes it easier to handle everything.
I find contentment with what I have (Santosha -one of the Niyamas, in the 2nd Limb of Yoga), and alot of times I tell myself that if I can't have a family of my own, I still have my maternal nature. There's a reason the softball girls in high school called me "Mama McKitts"!!! I take great pride in being present when I see my nephews, niece, and my friend's kids. I try to take the time to teach and love them with that maternal way, though they are not my own.
I understand that the truth of someone's life is not all in a picture or a caption. I step back and realize that what is shown on social media is always a small part of a much larger picture.
Lastly, whenever I feel some sort of emotion I investigate why I feel that way. Is it triggering me because I want that? Is there a way I can bring myself closer to that? I don't have to know the answers as much as I make myself ask the questions (Svadhyaya -one of the Niyamas, in the 2nd Limb of Yoga).
And that's a wrap on my yogi-style approach to social media. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Comment below or email hello@journeyforwardyoga.com . Better yet, take a yoga or wellness class with JFY & we can talk about it then (shameless plug) :) :) :)
With Love & Light,
Christina
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